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by Pipkunts

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01-28-2023, 04:49 PM
by Munchaab

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Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. I'm getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
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roflmao :) you are on a roll !
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If I had $1 for every time I opened the clock app instead of the calculator app, I'd have 3:15 pm.
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What does James Bond do before he goes to bed? He goes undercover.
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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Why should you never iron a shamrock? Because you shouldn’t press your luck.
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roflmao ")
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I've just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I reckon that'll come back to bite me.
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Went to a Cannibal wedding today. It was all going well... until they decided to toast the Bride and Groom.
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What do you give to a puppy with fever? Mustard, because everybody knows that’s best for a hot dog.
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When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a Gregorian Monk. But I never got the chants.
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What's the opposite of a croissant? A happy Uncle.
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I was banned from a karaoke bar for butchering "Danger Zone" one too many times. Yup. They locked me out for multiple insufficient Loggins attempts.
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My time machine is the best thing till sliced bread.
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I opened the medicine cabinet and a bottle of Omega 3 capsules fell on my head. Fortunately my injuries were only super fish oil.
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You Tube, Twitter and Facebook are considering merging. Although the new name 'YouTwitFace' hasn't gone down very well.
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Waiter: here’s your check. How did you find the steak?? Me: very easy. It was right next to the potatoes.
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The Devil whispered to me, Im coming for you. I whispered back, Bring pizza.
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The fact that some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in ways I can't put into words.
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roflmao :)
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