Prime mates.

I have a fear of speed bumps.

I’m slowly getting over it.

You might officially be an old person if you can't figure out many of the features on your new smart phone.

rofl :)

Grandma told me that back in her day, they got three times the work done that we do.

I reminded Grandma that back in her day, they had cocaine in their soda.

roflmao :)

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.

Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

:) lmfao

How to fall down the stairs: Step 1

Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 Step 5,6,7,8,9

BREAKING: Congress was evacuated today after a suspicious package arrived.

It turned out to be a copy of the Constitution of the United states, which none of them had seen before.

lol ARM! :)