"Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Plexi-glass is up? Out-freaking-standing.

(Quietly, Squirrel pushes away small crate of tomatoes as cricket, without a chirp, counts the money made...)

Seriosly now? Who passes out tomatoes before a comedy show?

Hey, now. Put those tomatoes down.

It was pointless.

I made a pencil with two erasers.

(Squirrel quiets his companion, a monocle wearing cricket that was adjusting its vest and pantaloons. It's rude to chirp in public displays...)

:crickets chirp:

It was two tired.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

(Squirrel snorts and chuckles, applauding. It's true. You don't hear them pee!...)

Don't forget to tip your moderators. ;)

:tugs collar" Yeesh... tough room.

Because the "p" is silent.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?

*Squeak* (Squirrel sitting in the back row, drinking a peanut tequila, let's him know it's a clear carry....)

*tap, tap, tap* Is this thing on?

*Squeak!* (Squirrel carefully puts down megaphone and backs away not realizing it was set to "11"...)

The things you find while going for a long overdue wonder :)