Quitting Smoking
#11
(04-06-2021, 06:43 AM)K1ll_R06U3 Wrote:
(04-06-2021, 03:04 AM)-RG- Wrote:
(04-06-2021, 02:35 AM)PickleSnout Wrote: Cold turkey worked for me.
Two weeks of deep frowns and balled fists, and the nagging urge passed.
One month for the occasional urge, and then I was free.
It has been many years, and the occasional (less than 1 monthly) cigar or pipe does not trigger the cigarette habit. I would not say to take up pipe or cigar right away- you might replace one habit with another. What I mean to convey is you can still enjoy ocassional tobacco later in life, without the expensive health damaging ciggarette issues.

Good luck on your path.

I wish I could do vapes to kick this nasty 20 year habit.

Vapes make me hack, cough and regret I took a drag. People have told me maybe is the nicotine level.

Ha!  bitch please, I burn 2 packs a day.  40 fucking smokes. 

How is nicotine levels in a vape causing me issues?

It's supposed to be "healthier" so why the fuck does it cause me to hack up a lung every time I take a drag??

Vaping does the same to me. Cough my lungs out. I smoke rolled chop chop, home grown tobacco. Smoking 41 years. Generally pretty fit with no breathing issues. Filtered cancer sticks you have to stay away from. Loads more chemicals.

If you have the home grown kind that is great :0) It's really more of all the extra crap they put into the commercial stuff that is bad for you anyway. The regular plant isn't.
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#12
American Style Cured Tobacco for Ciggs is processed with Ammonia . Helps with the Flexible / Moist properties .


Mother in Law clued Me to something about Ammonia . . . Addictive in small doses .

She was a Flapper way back when . Bar Maid . Related that Coca Cola Drafts got a couple er three drops before pulling the Beverage .


.
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#13
(04-05-2021, 11:53 PM)Elric Wrote:
(04-05-2021, 11:05 PM)DeadpoolLovesYou Wrote: ...is fucking hard.

But I found something that is helping reduce the amount and hopefully I will be able to quit eventually. 

This does nothing for the nicotine addiction itself, but if you know it is largely a habit and if you happen to be one who bites the butt...  Chuckle

I just got these necklaces that look like a crystal, but it is made of silicone.

You bite it.  It has little ridges on a couple sides to keep it interesting and give you variations...

For me it seems to be working, as I skipped several smokes today just by biting that thing.   I guess it is sort of an adult pacifier but I don't give 2 shits what it looks like if I can get my soul
back from cigarettes.

It was kind of a sideways discovery...

This has been a weird month.    I realized for the second time in 10 yrs, but for the first time for sure, that I am a high functioning autist, not just a weird, but nice, but sometimes an asshole, but smart, but seemingly antisocial narcissistic, but philosphical and justice seeking weirdo, etc...   And I also realized that that caused a lot of fucked up stuff in my childhood with parents, teachers, and peers.  Nobody knew about autism back then so I can't really blame them for what they did to me and what they thought I was doing... but it was all upside down and very traumatic and unfair and I am really sad for all the other people who I am finding that went through the same things.   It's horrifying but surprisingly liberating to finally see everything with the missing piece filled in.  Among a million other things the biting as a way to deal with overstimulation was something I realized I was doing while smoking and probably at least half of the addiction. So if I can quit, that will be at least one huge benefit to knowing and accepting it.  I haven't gotten a clinical diagnosis, but I have done enough self tests and research and analysis that I just know.

Unfortunately the only way I finally figured it out was from having a complete autistic/trauma meltdown upon suddenly facing a divorce I never saw coming.  Well, I knew it wasn't going well, but I had never let myself see what that meant. I also never really knew what a narcissist was.  We think we do, but there is so much more to it and such subtle signs that usually only 1 person in their life gets to see.  I lived my whole life thinking that my dad was a narcissist, but it turns out it was my mom.   And then my wife.   I think my dad is like me and on the spectrum.   It makes so many things make so much more sense.   A narcissist woman will destroy a HFA.  Sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but it is inevitable.  And sometimes they actually don't know what they are doing.... and sometimes the autist gets the blame for being the bad guy.. I can't imagine how many guys are dead or in jail from the wrong woman getting their fangs into them and them not understanding what was happening.  

It wrecked me.  That's why I haven't been on here much.  I did stupidly start a thread at gulp about it at the beginning.   A lot has changed since then.

I don't know why I am posting this stuff publicly but I guess its because I think it could help someone else.  I have learned so much about autism, trauma and abuse, narcissistic relationships, and myself it is crazy.   I think I experienced what is referred to as "soul death" because my whole life is being changed from the inside out.  It's not magic and it's not permanent, but it is a chance to get back to the person we were before we got lost in the world.  The topic deserves a thread of its own and I might do that.

Most of the advice you find out there for people in my situation is to run like hell and never look back...  but I am a sucker for punishment and a romantic at heart.  I'm trying to work things out and give her a chance to reclaim her own soul from whatever accumulation of misunderstandings and mistakes has trapped it in an illusion...  I'm also ready to face that I was the one living the illusion and she was never really present all along.  It's pretty scary, let me tell you, to realize you know nothing about the person you have spent 26 years with and exposed your whole life and dreams to.

But it is also a second chance if you know how to look at it.

I'm just a fool who believes in love.  Even when it doesn't believe in me.

If she can't see that...  I deserver better anyways.

I may have gone off topic with this one.  Good luck, smokers.
So many things you shared that I relate to. 
There's a few things that have made me wonder if I'm borderline. As a kid I took things very literally.
For example; when told to "Hop in the car" by my father, I clearly remember thinking "Why would I 'hop' in the car like an idiot?" 

It caused me a lot of strife through misunderstandings. It wasn't helpful that my father was a violent authoritarian who expected me to be a mind reader. 

Went through something similar with my sons mother [Who I call Bitch for convenience] I tried so hard for my sons sake to at least have a civil relationship but it got to a point where it was a choice between that at the cost of my own integrity. 
In the end I would only communicate with Bitch in writing because narcissists don't ever stop, no matter how hard one tries. 
It was such a relief once I realised that. 

The most important thing is to not hold onto any hate. Bitch was just being herself. 
Like when the Frog asked "Why?" Scorpion replied with a shrug "I am what I am." 
Bitches be crazy.  

Cigarettes. Every quit attempt was white-knuckle torture. 
Ever since I was a kid I used cigarettes to treat stress and depression. The habit is so ingrained. 
The fact is that I enjoy smoking. It relaxes me and helps keep me calm.

Over ten years ago I switched to a pipe and have not had one cigarette since. 
Now I'm smoking way less and can go hours without and not even notice when otherwise occupied. 
When driving a truck I'm content to wait a few hours until I get to my destination to have a smoke. When I smoked ciggies I couldn't wait when the cravings struck "I said now dagnabit!"  Chuckle   

All the blends I smoke have no more than mild nicotine so I see the pipe very much like an adult pacifier. 
A pipe occupies my hands even when it's not lit. 

A U.S. Surgeon Generals report found that pipe smokers who inhale have the same life expectancy as a non-smoker. [Unlike cigarettes pipe tobacco has no added harmful chemicals] 

I love my pipes and pipe tobacco [which is so tasty compared to cigarettes] My only regret is not sticking with a pipe when I picked one up briefly when 15yo. 
Pipe tobacco generally has less nicotine than cigarettes - though there are blends that'll fix any craving - so there's a 3-5 day adjustment period but I found it easy from there. 
Switching to a pipe was so much easier than trying to quit because puffing on a pipe was better than nothing. 
A pipe is also an effective step towards complete cessation. 

Good luck with the cigarettes and on the ex issue.  Drinks

Thanks for your comments.

Taking things literally like that is a loud and blaring sign that you too may be on the spectrum.   That is a very common symptom of Asperger's, HFA, or whatever you want to call it. So is the habitual or repetitive "ceremony" of the process.  For Autists it is sometimes referred to as "stimming" and is used to redirect focus to avoid negative stimulus or to sort of crank up the noise in another area to drown out the overloading from something else. 
 The most recent DSM eliminated Asperger's and now just lumps all Autism as a spectrum, but that isn't a very good way to look at it.  It isn't a linear range of most and severe symptoms to least and minor ones.  Its more a random collection of which ones are expressed and under how much stress as well as environment and coping factors.  I was fortunate enough to have a high IQ that helped me figure our ways to fit in using logic instead of feelings or social cues.  It takes a lot more work and is very draining so I would find myself exhausted or gradually more unstable the longer I had to interact with people who were insensitive to limitations I didn't even know that I had.  It ends up that they are mad at you for things you never did or intended and you look at them like they are crazy/mean people and end up just avoiding social situations. I would encourage you do so some research and watch videos or read stories from other people who have dealt with this. 

As far as the narcissists go...  I'm still of the mindset that they can possibly change sometimes, but only if they are willing to face the truth head on and understand that it is not only wrong and damaging other people, but ultimately causing greater trouble in their own life and ability to find satisfaction/happiness.

I think I have found a website that has the tools I need to navigate this.  At the very least it will help to establish how things got the way they are, and at best offers a way to fix the problems.  

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/the-mos...-needs.htm

So far all the things I have been trying to express seem to be included and it sure seems like I am the only one doing what it takes for a very long time now.  But it also shows me that the areas where I have not been so great may have more importance that I place on them and vice versa.  Men and Women are just different... but there is a way to understand what that means and ways to work with differences for mutual benefit.

If she won't even try, that says a lot about the source of the problem and would help the other (me) to understand and accept why it won't ever get any better and that ending things is preferred.
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. 
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#14
There is always this option. I'm not making a joke. You can go anywhere and nobody will know. I mean this not as a advert. Please delete if it pushes that boundary.
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#15
If she won't even try, it may be because after many moons of being with a Narc, she is unwilling to risk more hurt 'hoping' for change while someone tries to map their own minefield.
There comes a moment of self preservation.
I am not saying she is right or wrong, just having a perspective of the other side of the coin.

Kudos To you for even allowing the idea of 'there might be something wrong with me' into your pervue.
For a Narc, that occurance is incredibly low. Blaming others goes back to avoiding responsibility for their own actions which is far more common. Relationships are very notorious for assigning blame or responsibility in any case - It takes two, right?
Yet with Narcs it takes one to call the shots, and one to capitulate then get blamed when they will no longer play along.

That problem is way worse than the smoking! It is a pile of spaghetti you are trying to unravel.

Either one of those issues is difficult. Both together...an endurance race!

Doubling down on the well wishes.
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#16
I've been looking at the new nicotine pouches.  There's several kinds, strengths and flavors.   The nicotine is from tobacco but There's no tobacco in the pouches

https://cstoredecisions.com/2021/02/04/w...e-pouches/
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#17
Also, divorce is traumatic.  Wrong or right i decided I'd never put myself in that situation again.   

I'll miss out on some of the great parts of being in a relationship but I'll also avoid all the pain and disappointment that always follows.
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#18
(04-06-2021, 12:58 PM)DeadpoolLovesYou Wrote:
(04-05-2021, 11:53 PM)Elric Wrote:
(04-05-2021, 11:05 PM)DeadpoolLovesYou Wrote: ...is fucking hard.

But I found something that is helping reduce the amount and hopefully I will be able to quit eventually. 

This does nothing for the nicotine addiction itself, but if you know it is largely a habit and if you happen to be one who bites the butt...  Chuckle

I just got these necklaces that look like a crystal, but it is made of silicone.

You bite it.  It has little ridges on a couple sides to keep it interesting and give you variations...

For me it seems to be working, as I skipped several smokes today just by biting that thing.   I guess it is sort of an adult pacifier but I don't give 2 shits what it looks like if I can get my soul
back from cigarettes.

It was kind of a sideways discovery...

This has been a weird month.    I realized for the second time in 10 yrs, but for the first time for sure, that I am a high functioning autist, not just a weird, but nice, but sometimes an asshole, but smart, but seemingly antisocial narcissistic, but philosphical and justice seeking weirdo, etc...   And I also realized that that caused a lot of fucked up stuff in my childhood with parents, teachers, and peers.  Nobody knew about autism back then so I can't really blame them for what they did to me and what they thought I was doing... but it was all upside down and very traumatic and unfair and I am really sad for all the other people who I am finding that went through the same things.   It's horrifying but surprisingly liberating to finally see everything with the missing piece filled in.  Among a million other things the biting as a way to deal with overstimulation was something I realized I was doing while smoking and probably at least half of the addiction. So if I can quit, that will be at least one huge benefit to knowing and accepting it.  I haven't gotten a clinical diagnosis, but I have done enough self tests and research and analysis that I just know.

Unfortunately the only way I finally figured it out was from having a complete autistic/trauma meltdown upon suddenly facing a divorce I never saw coming.  Well, I knew it wasn't going well, but I had never let myself see what that meant. I also never really knew what a narcissist was.  We think we do, but there is so much more to it and such subtle signs that usually only 1 person in their life gets to see.  I lived my whole life thinking that my dad was a narcissist, but it turns out it was my mom.   And then my wife.   I think my dad is like me and on the spectrum.   It makes so many things make so much more sense.   A narcissist woman will destroy a HFA.  Sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but it is inevitable.  And sometimes they actually don't know what they are doing.... and sometimes the autist gets the blame for being the bad guy.. I can't imagine how many guys are dead or in jail from the wrong woman getting their fangs into them and them not understanding what was happening.  

It wrecked me.  That's why I haven't been on here much.  I did stupidly start a thread at gulp about it at the beginning.   A lot has changed since then.

I don't know why I am posting this stuff publicly but I guess its because I think it could help someone else.  I have learned so much about autism, trauma and abuse, narcissistic relationships, and myself it is crazy.   I think I experienced what is referred to as "soul death" because my whole life is being changed from the inside out.  It's not magic and it's not permanent, but it is a chance to get back to the person we were before we got lost in the world.  The topic deserves a thread of its own and I might do that.

Most of the advice you find out there for people in my situation is to run like hell and never look back...  but I am a sucker for punishment and a romantic at heart.  I'm trying to work things out and give her a chance to reclaim her own soul from whatever accumulation of misunderstandings and mistakes has trapped it in an illusion...  I'm also ready to face that I was the one living the illusion and she was never really present all along.  It's pretty scary, let me tell you, to realize you know nothing about the person you have spent 26 years with and exposed your whole life and dreams to.

But it is also a second chance if you know how to look at it.

I'm just a fool who believes in love.  Even when it doesn't believe in me.

If she can't see that...  I deserver better anyways.

I may have gone off topic with this one.  Good luck, smokers.
So many things you shared that I relate to. 
There's a few things that have made me wonder if I'm borderline. As a kid I took things very literally.
For example; when told to "Hop in the car" by my father, I clearly remember thinking "Why would I 'hop' in the car like an idiot?" 

It caused me a lot of strife through misunderstandings. It wasn't helpful that my father was a violent authoritarian who expected me to be a mind reader. 

Went through something similar with my sons mother [Who I call Bitch for convenience] I tried so hard for my sons sake to at least have a civil relationship but it got to a point where it was a choice between that at the cost of my own integrity. 
In the end I would only communicate with Bitch in writing because narcissists don't ever stop, no matter how hard one tries. 
It was such a relief once I realised that. 

The most important thing is to not hold onto any hate. Bitch was just being herself. 
Like when the Frog asked "Why?" Scorpion replied with a shrug "I am what I am." 
Bitches be crazy.  

Cigarettes. Every quit attempt was white-knuckle torture. 
Ever since I was a kid I used cigarettes to treat stress and depression. The habit is so ingrained. 
The fact is that I enjoy smoking. It relaxes me and helps keep me calm.

Over ten years ago I switched to a pipe and have not had one cigarette since. 
Now I'm smoking way less and can go hours without and not even notice when otherwise occupied. 
When driving a truck I'm content to wait a few hours until I get to my destination to have a smoke. When I smoked ciggies I couldn't wait when the cravings struck "I said now dagnabit!"  Chuckle   

All the blends I smoke have no more than mild nicotine so I see the pipe very much like an adult pacifier. 
A pipe occupies my hands even when it's not lit. 

A U.S. Surgeon Generals report found that pipe smokers who inhale have the same life expectancy as a non-smoker. [Unlike cigarettes pipe tobacco has no added harmful chemicals] 

I love my pipes and pipe tobacco [which is so tasty compared to cigarettes] My only regret is not sticking with a pipe when I picked one up briefly when 15yo. 
Pipe tobacco generally has less nicotine than cigarettes - though there are blends that'll fix any craving - so there's a 3-5 day adjustment period but I found it easy from there. 
Switching to a pipe was so much easier than trying to quit because puffing on a pipe was better than nothing. 
A pipe is also an effective step towards complete cessation. 

Good luck with the cigarettes and on the ex issue.  Drinks

Thanks for your comments.

Taking things literally like that is a loud and blaring sign that you too may be on the spectrum.   That is a very common symptom of Asperger's, HFA, or whatever you want to call it. So is the habitual or repetitive "ceremony" of the process.  For Autists it is sometimes referred to as "stimming" and is used to redirect focus to avoid negative stimulus or to sort of crank up the noise in another area to drown out the overloading from something else. 
 The most recent DSM eliminated Asperger's and now just lumps all Autism as a spectrum, but that isn't a very good way to look at it.  It isn't a linear range of most and severe symptoms to least and minor ones.  Its more a random collection of which ones are expressed and under how much stress as well as environment and coping factors.  I was fortunate enough to have a high IQ that helped me figure our ways to fit in using logic instead of feelings or social cues.  It takes a lot more work and is very draining so I would find myself exhausted or gradually more unstable the longer I had to interact with people who were insensitive to limitations I didn't even know that I had.  It ends up that they are mad at you for things you never did or intended and you look at them like they are crazy/mean people and end up just avoiding social situations. I would encourage you do so some research and watch videos or read stories from other people who have dealt with this. 

As far as the narcissists go...  I'm still of the mindset that they can possibly change sometimes, but only if they are willing to face the truth head on and understand that it is not only wrong and damaging other people, but ultimately causing greater trouble in their own life and ability to find satisfaction/happiness.

I think I have found a website that has the tools I need to navigate this.  At the very least it will help to establish how things got the way they are, and at best offers a way to fix the problems.  

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/the-mos...-needs.htm

So far all the things I have been trying to express seem to be included and it sure seems like I am the only one doing what it takes for a very long time now.  But it also shows me that the areas where I have not been so great may have more importance that I place on them and vice versa.  Men and Women are just different... but there is a way to understand what that means and ways to work with differences for mutual benefit.

If she won't even try, that says a lot about the source of the problem and would help the other (me) to understand and accept why it won't ever get any better and that ending things is preferred.

I think I tried something like that before.  I actually used to dip kodiak for a long time but quit that and started smoking more.   I may try those snus again as I get to the point of a lot less cigs and closer to quitting altogether.  That might be the last step...  First get control of the frequency and biting aspect, then dealing with the withdrawal of the actual nicotine...
Good suggestion, thanks.
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. 
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#19
Wishing you the best, @DeadpoolLovesYou, you CAN do it. Heartflowers
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#20
(04-06-2021, 11:24 AM)sevenx Wrote:
(04-06-2021, 06:43 AM)K1ll_R06U3 Wrote:
(04-06-2021, 03:04 AM)-RG- Wrote: I wish I could do vapes to kick this nasty 20 year habit.

Vapes make me hack, cough and regret I took a drag. People have told me maybe is the nicotine level.

Ha!  bitch please, I burn 2 packs a day.  40 fucking smokes. 

How is nicotine levels in a vape causing me issues?

It's supposed to be "healthier" so why the fuck does it cause me to hack up a lung every time I take a drag??

Vaping does the same to me. Cough my lungs out. I smoke rolled chop chop, home grown tobacco. Smoking 41 years. Generally pretty fit with no breathing issues. Filtered cancer sticks you have to stay away from. Loads more chemicals.

If you have the home grown kind that is great :0)  It's really more of all the extra crap they put into the commercial stuff that is bad for you anyway.  The regular plant isn't.

This ^ ^.
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